How to Know If the Shelter Cat Is Choosing You

 

Cats aren’t just passive pets they’re intuitive beings who seek out energy, safety, and connection. Whether they’re visiting your yard or sitting in a shelter cage, cats often choose their people long before the paperwork is signed.

This article explores how to recognize the signs of feline bonding, especially during shelter visits and trial adoptions.

 Cats Know Where They’re Welcome

In my own yard, cats come and go freely. Feral, stray, and neighbor cats drink from my pond, nap in the clover, and lounge on the patio furniture. They don’t visit my neighbor’s yard even though it looks similar because they sense the energy. My neighbor doesn’t like cats. And cats know.

Cats are social animals, but they’re also selective. They gravitate toward places and people who feel safe. That’s true in neighborhoods and it’s true in shelters.

 Shelter Visits: Let the Cat Choose You

If you’re visiting a shelter, don’t rush to pick the prettiest cat or the one with the fanciest breed label. Instead: Sit quietly near the enclosure Let the cat observe you Watch for signs of curiosity or comfort See who approaches you first Cats that choose their people will: Make eye contact Rub against the cage or reach a paw toward you Sit calmly near you instead of hiding Show relaxed body language (tail down, ears forward) These are signs of trust. And trust is the foundation of a lasting bond.

Trial Adoptions: Let the Bond Build Naturally

When I’ve placed rescue kittens, I always tell adopters: “Sit back and let the kitten come to you.” the kitten that approaches, sniffs, and shows affection is the one that’s chosen you.  These unions are strong. None of those kittens were ever returned.

 When Cats Choose to Stay

Over the years, two neighborhood cats decided that their visits would be permanent. Both came from a troubled home. They arrived with bite wounds and trauma—but they found peace in my garden. One day, they curled up beside me on the bench while I read. That was their way of saying, “You’re my person now.”

Eventually, I offered food, water, and shelter. But only after they made the first move.

 Signs a Cat Is Bonding With You

Whether in a shelter, a foster home, or your backyard, look for these signs:

Follows you from room to room

Sleeps near you or on your belongings

Slow blinks and relaxed posture

Head butts, cheek rubs, or gentle paw taps

Comes when called or responds to your voice

These aren’t just behaviors they’re invitations.

🐾 Final Thought: Let the Cat Lead

Adoption isn’t just about choosing a cat. It’s about being chosen.
Let the cat guide the bond. Let the energy speak. And when the moment feels right when the cat curls up beside you or reaches out with a paw you’ll know. You’ve been chosen.

Bringing Home a Rescue Cat: Day One Rituals for Safety and Trust

 

Welcoming a rescue cat home? Learn how to create a safe, calming space on day one from setting up the perfect cat room to building trust through quiet companionship.

Over the years, I’ve welcomed many rescued cats into my home. And while each one arrives with their own story, my first-night routine has never changed. It’s a ritual of safety, calm, and quiet trust.

Setting Up the Safe Room

Every new arrival gets their own sanctuary a cat-safe room prepared with care: A clean litter box, fresh food, and water bowls. A pet crate lined with a self-warming bed, covered with a blanket to create a cozy den. A Feliway diffuser plugged into the wall to ease anxiety and promote calm. A sturdy cat tree securely mounted to the wall for safe climbing. Soft classical music playing in the background it seems to soothe them, and it soothes me too.

The floors are laminated wood, easy to clean and disinfect. I always wipe them down with vinegar before a new cat enters. This room becomes their haven, a place to absorb the scent of the house and the quiet presence of other pets without direct interaction.

What If You Don’t Have a Spare Room?

Not every household has a dedicated cat-safe room. If you're juggling kids, other pets, or limited space, you can still offer your rescue cat a soft landing without compromising their emotional safety.

Here’s how I’ve adapted when space was tight: I’ve used a large dog kennel with a secure latch and covered sides. Inside, I place a pet bed toward the front and tuck food and water bowls behind it, out of the way. For litter, I use a shallow shoe box lid it fits perfectly and keeps things tidy. I always spray the interior with Feliway Mood Modifier before the cat enters, never while they’re inside. The scent helps ease anxiety, but spraying near a frightened cat can backfire. I’ve carved out calm zones in guest bathrooms, laundry rooms, and even behind furniture using folding screens or baby gates. I’ve taught kids that this is a sacred time—no loud voices, no reaching in. Just quiet presence. I’ve kept resident pets out of the cat’s zone for the first few days, swapping blankets and toys to introduce scent before any face-to-face meeting.

Playpens don’t work for adult rescues. They climb. They leap. They panic. Containment must be secure, not just suggested. The principle remains the same: containment, calm, and quiet companionship. Even without a spare room, you can offer your rescue cat the gift of safety and trust. It’s not about perfection it’s about intention.

First Impressions Matter

On day one, I don’t expect affection. I don’t reach or coax. I simply sit on the floor and read a book. My presence says: I’m here. I’m safe. I won’t hurt you.

Most cats hide. Some hiss. A few try to scale the walls or test the windows. That’s why I always keep windows shut and locked. Fear makes them resourceful, and safety must come first.

The Hardest Day Is the First

The first day is often the hardest for both of us. But it gets better. With time, patience, and quiet companionship, the Feliway begins to work its magic. The cat starts to relax. They begin to explore. And eventually, they’ll want to learn more about me.

This isn’t just a rescue it’s the beginning of a relationship. One built on trust, respect, and the quiet promise that they’re finally home.

Ginger Cats are Good for Families

  

Over the years I have rescued and found forever homes for many ginger cats. Overall  the ginger cat is good with families, single people and with seniors.  This cat is easy going, affectionate and friendly. Fact is I never met a ginger cat that I did not like.

I have placed the ginger cat with families with kids because the cat’s personality is easy going, calm and playful.  The cat will cuddle with your kids or they will play with their toys. Plus its not uncommon for the cat to snuggle with kids during nap time.  Unlike other cats that may be afraid of kids, the ginger cat affectionate and easy-going personality is well suited for a family setting.

Ginger cats are known to carry on conversations with their owners.  Yes, this cat can be talkative. And they may tell you a long story while they are sitting on your lap.  They also may sit by a window and talk to a bird or a squirrel.  They will make chirping noises as if to mimic the bird.

Ginger cats are not all male; however, females are rare. I read that 80% of the ginger cats are male while only 20% are female.  My one friend has had a female and now has a male and told me that his male ginger was more active whereas the female is more laid back and quieter.

Here are my photos of ginger cats.

It makes little difference as to whether the ginger cat is a female or a male because  both are affectionate cats. So, if you like sweet cats that are playful and talkative then you will want to adopt a ginger cat.

All photos are of ginger cats that we have cared for over the years. 

Successful Trapping for Stray Cat

 Last fall one of our neighbors released her 5 little kittens and then  refused to let them return to their home for food, water or shelter.  The neighbors tried to catch them but kittens are fast.  Out of the five only three survived. 

One of the kittens had reached mating age and kept getting beat up daily. So my husband and I decided we would trap and pay for him to be neutered. From the looks of this skinny, dirty and beat up kitty we thought that he may have Feline Leukemia or Feline Immunodeficiency Disease. The sooner we trapped him the better. 

It took me ten days to get him dependent on us feeding him.   And once he felt safe with us we were successful in trapping him. 

He was negative in cat disease, he was neutered, given shots and a dose of revolution for mites in his ears, and infestation of fleas and ticks.   They also gave him a bath and he is recuperating at the veterinarian over the weekend.    

We will pick him up on Monday and after a few more days of rest we will pursue responsible cat adopters. 

I am not sure why people release their kittens like this but do think that there should be a law to prevent this type of abandonment.   

       

How Fat Cats Benefit from Cat Trees

 

 

Today the cat tree that we bought at Chewy arrived and my husband is putting it together.  We bought the tree for our 4 older and fat cats.  The cat tree will benefit all of our fat cats because it will stimulate them to move, play and jump around.  An increase of movement will burn calories and aid in weight reductions.

 

Cat Tree for Large Cats

Any movement is better than no movement. All of our cats are rescues that were abandoned when their people moved away.  We tried to find them homes but because of their older age nobody wanted them. 

My 3 rescued cats

We ended up keeping them and we love them very much. However, as soon as these cats got comfortable they stopped being active. Its as if their purpose in life is to eat, sun themselves on the windowsill and sleep.  The sluggish behavior has caused them to put on weight so we bought them a cat tree to stimulate them to want to play and exercise.

 

Sally my calico seems happy about the cat tree

Our one cat Sally the Calico has been watching from afar and she seems generally interested in the cat tree. Our other bored cats have not moved from sleeping on the bed.

 

Sally and sibling Larry being lazy fat cats

We are hoping that after we cover the tree with spray on catnip that our fat cats will stretch to climb on the tree, rub on the tree and scratch their nails on the tree.  This activity would be much needed exercise and would benefit their shoulders, hindquarters and back.

 

All activity is exercise for a Fat Cat

This cat tree comes with a toy that is dangling from one of the ledges. This toy will encourage the cat to stretch their paw to play with the toy.  Another way to exercise.

 

The location of the cat tree matters.  My husband set it up in the laundry room next to the large window.  The placement will entice the cats to climb to the top post so they can look out the window at the birds and the squirrels.  This location should keep them interested.  Nothing better than a cat tree with a view or nature.

If you have a cat that is putting on weight, or has a slow metabolism you can stimulate the cat to be active with a cat tree. Exercise along with low carbohydrate diet is best for a fat cat.

 We bought ours at Chewy but you can find cat trees at many online and offline stores like Pet Smart, Amazon, Walmart and I think eBay has cat trees also.  Do check the product reviews before you buy to make sure that its quality made, and if the size is right for your cats.  Some trees are made for kittens or small cats other trees are made for large cats.

Outdoor Cats Breed Seasonally in Cold Climates

 Many people will tell you that outdoor queen cats breed continuously and that one unaltered stray cat can populate the community with thousands of cats in their lifetime. Know that is not the case for a cat that resides in an area that has a change of seasons. The average queen cat that breeds seasonally has approximately 300 kittens in their lifetime.  

 

 

Cats that  lives outdoors in areas where the temperature is cold the daylight is short and days are dark do not go into a reproductive cycle.  The outdoor feral cat only breeds from spring to fall when the weather is warm, and days are longer.

Our winters are bitter cold and the unaltered stray cats do not go into their reproductive cycle until mid-spring or after the snow has melted and days are warm and becoming longer. 

The queen cats will mate two times during our summer months although some feral queen cats do mate up to three times during the warm season it all depends on if we have an early spring.

.Cats will stop breeding in autumn when the daylight is shorter and the temperature is cooler / cold  Outdoor cats sense when it’s the warm season and time to breed.

* female cats that are not spayed are called queens and male cats that are not neutered are 

Mistletoe is Toxic To Cats

While shopping today my husband grabbed some mistletoe and held it above my head.  And we kissed because it's tradition during the holidays.  While it's fun to kiss under the mistletoe did you know that it's toxic to cats?

Mistletoe contains substances that are toxic to both dogs and cats,

Mistletoe growing on branches of trees

mistletoe ornament used during the Christmas season

Normally during the holiday season, people will hang mistletoe in the doorway so that all who stand under it will receive a kiss.  This is great for homes with no pets because mistletoe is not a harmless plant, all plant parts are toxic, and depending on how much is ingested it may cause any of the following; excessive drooling vomiting diarrhea gastrointestinal upset, and pain abnormal heart rate seizures or death (the entire plant is toxic, branch, leaves and berries)  

I would recommend that you enjoy the mistletoe when you are away from your home because the only way to keep your cats safe is to keep it out and away from your house. 

Poinsettia Plants Are They Toxic to Cats

 

The poinsettia is known as the Christmas plant due to its colorful green and red foliage.  While this plant is stunning to look at during the holiday season it's also very attractive to cats and it's important to know if this plant is toxic or not. 

Poinsettia plant leaves

Today my brother gave me a beautiful red poinsettia and since I have cats I wondered if the plant might be toxic to my pets.  My indoor cats are plant-starved and normally everything I bring indoors is deemed a new kitty treat.  So I needed to make sure that this holiday poinsettia would not poison my pets. 

my poinsettia plant on the porch / away from the cats

I searched online and found that many websites have listed that poinsettia plants are toxic to cats and that I should keep the poinsettia away from them. All of the websites seemed to say the same thing and honestly, I needed to confirm the information so I searched for a veterinarian school.

My search led me to an educational website for veterinarian medicine and this website gave me accurate information regarding poinsettia toxicity to cats. 

 ". Poinsettias have received bad publicity in the past whereas, in fact, poinsettias are not very toxic to pets. They do contain a milky sap that can irritate the mouth but if signs develop they are usually mild.  The College of Veterinary Medicine at Washington State University provides the following information for Poinsettia, as well as Mistletoe and Holly. "Holiday Health Hazards" https://hospital.vetmed.wsu.edu/2021/11/23/holiday-health-hazards-for-pets/ 

In conclusion and in my opinion, the poinsettia plant will not end your cat's life, as this plant has very low toxicity to cats.  You know your cat's behavior, if they are plant-starved like mine, attracted to all greenery as something new to chew on then keep the poinsettia away from your cats.  

The leaves of the poinsettia will cause an irritation to the mouth. Watch out for drooling.  Now if they eat the poinsettia leaves, stems all parts of the plant  they may drool, vomit, or have diarrhea.  

End of Life Care for Senior Cat

 The end of life for your senior kitty is never easy because your cat will have behavior changes that you are not accustomed to because like humans senior cats experience cognitive dysfunction which is like dementia in humans.

 Some senior kitties will have dementia similar to humans and some senior kitties become more affectionate and want to be next to their people at all times.  A once calm and quiet cat may become vocal and some senior kitties will walk around the house at night as if they are lost. 

Know that my senior cat is experiencing all of the above and also health issues such as ear infections and mobility decline.  But she has a hearty appetite and still purrs when we pet her. 

 

Our eldest cat is 18 years old, and her behavior has changed and is that of a dementia kitty.  She tends to wander around the house at night and will meow loudly.   She will also meow loudly because she is thirsty and wants me to turn on the bathroom or kitchen faucet.  Sometimes she cannot find her food bowl and this will cause her to become cranky.   I will put it in front of her and she will eat happily.  Other times she has no problem finding her food bowl.  Every day is a new experience in the life of a senior cat.

Know that her body has slowed down and she now prefers to sleep in our bed.  Her preferable sleeping area is up by the pillow between my husband and I. She sleeps at all times and is only awake to eat, drink, and use her litter box.

Normally our cat enjoyed being groomed but recently we noticed that she pulls away from the brush.  My thinking is that her skin is more sensitive to the brush and that it's not enjoyable for her.  So, we stopped brushing her and now use nature's miracle cat wipes to clean her fur and we pet her often.  Our senior cat still enjoys being petted.

 

Occasionally our senior cat will play with her catnip-filled mouse.  She used to love her mouse but overall she is disinterested in it and I suspect it's due to her fading sense of smell. Our kitty loves to still look at the birds that are outdoors and she loves cuddling with us and our dog. She still enjoys her favorite catnip-flavored treats and still purrs when we pet her so she has not lost all interest and still enjoys specific things.

 

My husband and I have discussed our cat's condition and if we should euthanize it when the time is right.  My husband hopes that she passes peacefully in her sleep and he wants her to pass naturally at home.  He tells me that death is a part of living and it is nature.  I am the one who spends the most time with our senior cat and would prefer euthanasia when the time is right.

Today we had a scare when our senior kitty could not stand to pee or poo.  It looked like she hurt her right hind leg. She could not stand, she would try but would fall down and then roll over.  We took this as a sign that her passing was soon.

Our veterinarian squeezed us in by staying late and I asked if she would examine our senior cat before euthanasia as we needed to know if there was a specific ailment or if it was her time to pass.

My veterinarian examined her and told her that it was not time for our senior cat to pass away, that she was very alert, and that her ears needed to be cleaned,  When her ears were cleaned we found out that she had an inner ear infection and that this was probably why she had difficulty walking and standing.

Treatment was administered; antibiotics, and steroids, and she was given fluids due to slight dehydration.  We were told to crate her or confine her to a bathroom, to put down puppy pads, a cat bed food, and water. 

Within 8 hours our senior cat showed signs of better mobility, she was able to use the litter box and also drank and ate from her bowls.

at age 18 our senior kitty loves to eat

 Know that when it comes to the end of life care for a senior cat that there is no right answer.   You choose the option that is best for you and your cat. My husband and I had a difference in opinion and we discussed our opinions with our veterinarian she said that when the time was right that she would come to the house to administer the euthanasia and thus the cat would pass peacefully in my arms. 

Stop Cats From Messing with Decorations

 Whenever I bring out the home decorations my cats seem to gather around the table.  They are interested in the pretty shiny things and can hardly wait to get their paws on everything.

If given a chance my cats will dump over the decoration in the box so that all things fall to the carpet.  Then the “game is on” and they will play with everything by chasing the pretty things across the floor.

One year I stopped the cats from messing with my decorations by creating a “cat room” where they would go when we could not supervise their activity and to keep them away from our holiday decorations.

I have used sticky tape and have attached our Christmas tree to the ceiling.  But must tell you what I am doing now really stops the cats from messing with the decorations.

This year I plugged Feliway diffusers into the electrical outlet.  Each room has a diffuser.  Then I waited a full 10 days and the product took the edge off the room, my cats are no longer stressed or anxious, they do not hiss, and have not marked to indicate that the entire house is “theirs” in fact they do not seem to care about the holiday decorations.

None of the cats have gotten on the display shelf, and the basket of pinecones with pumpkins has not been knocked over, in fact, no paw has touched my holiday decorations since I treated the house with Feliway.

So if you have a cat that messes with your home décor you may want to buy a Feliway diffuser and calm your cat so that they don’t care about your pretty things.

Outdoor Kiddie Pools Keep Cats Hydrated

 This summer the heat has been extreme with creeks and lakes drying up.  Due to the water shortages, the neighborhood and feral cats were desperately in need of water.

Normally we have bowls of water for the cats, but the intense heat was causing the water to become very hot and evaporate.  I was filling the water bowls several times a day and found that not only cats were drinking the water, but songbirds, groundhogs, raccoons, and deer were also staying hydrated by drinking out of the small animal bowls.

We bought outdoor kiddie pools to provide both cats and wildlife with a reliable water source.  Filling the outdoor dog and kiddie pools daily was the best thing that we could do to provide cats and wildlife the water that they needed.   We filled daily a hard plastic kiddie pool and an outdoor dog pool by Top-Paw.  

All pools were set up under a shade tree.  The shade prevented the sun from evaporating the water from the pools and also from the water getting too hot.  We would clean the pools daily to prevent bacteria.  Once the water was removed we would wash down the pool with dawn dish soap, rinse and refill.  Throughout the day the pools would be filled to the top so that they were never empty and cats and smaller animals could drink from them without physically getting into the pool. 

The kiddie pools were a great way to provide water to the animals and to keep them hydrated during the extremely hot summer months.

Here are a few of my photos.

Found White and Gray Tabby Kitten

 Today when I went out to the shed to check to see if any cats had entered through the kitty door I discovered that food was eaten from the food bowl.  I looked to see if a cat was there but could not find one. That didn't mean that there was no cat in the shed as it could be that it had a really good hiding spot.

I took steps to set up an overnight feeding station of wet and dry food plus a fresh bowl of water. I then set a self-warming cat bed on the floor along with catnip toys.

Before turning the lights out I heard movement in the back of the shed, it sounded like it was coming from behind a storage container, so I took my flashlight to look behind the container, and there in the corner I found a gray and white tabby kitten.

The kitten appears to be approximately three months old.  It looks healthy however there was no collar and it wasn't sterilized.   From the way the cat is hissing and spitting at me, I assume that it is feral or maybe just afraid of me. 

We provided the kitten with a safe and warm space with food, water, toys, and a litter box.  Tomorrow we will look for lost cat flyers, and also put the word out that we found a white and gray tabby kitten. 

I stayed with the kitten and took a few photographs. It's afraid of me but doesn't appear to be feral.  Here are a few photographs of the kitten that came into our shed.

Pet Owner Relinquishes Rights to Cat

Many times I think that the cats that come into my yard are stray due to their matted fur and they are usually hungry or thirsty. If the cat meows and is friendly and spends the entire day and night in my yard. I assume that it may be an indoor/outdoor cat, a neglected cat or that the pet owner has moved away.

What happens if you know of a pet owner who isn't being responsible and Do you know the cat needs care? Do you call animal control and report the neglect or do you visit with the person to find out if they still want the cat? 

Sometimes they aren't intentionally irresponsible as maybe they are sick, maybe there is a reason for the lack of care, and maybe they would prefer to relinquish their rights to the cat. Many times pet owners who never let their cats indoors and provide no outdoor shelter for the cat do not want the cat anymore and are eager to surrender their rights to someone who likes and wants to adopt the cat.

A cat that pet owner didn't want 

A few weeks ago my neighbor's cat decided to live in my yard. If would spend the entire day in my garden, drinking from the pond, hunting grasshoppers and salamanders and I found that it was sleeping in my dogs house at night. As soon as the dog was brought inside the cat went into the house in the kennel. The cat did not go home and I knew that it was at one time a housecat and needed to be cared for especially since my area has coyotes and other animals that would enjoy a cat snack.

Since I knew the woman who owned the cat I did go to visit with her. She told me to release the cat that it was outdoors now because she was ill and could not take care of it anymore.

I told her that the coyote was in the neighborhood at night and that it really was not safe for a housecat to be outdoors. But the neighbor was stern saying that the cat is not coming in here. She went on to say that the cat was too much trouble, always wanting to sit on her lap and that the cat kicked the litter all over the place.

I learned that the cat in question was approximately 15 years old and was not spayed and was taken to the veterinarian for vaccines when it was a kitten, but other than that no routine vaccines, wormer, or veterinarian care for approximately 14 years. Clearly, the cat was neglected and my neighbor was not being a responsible pet owner so I offered to adopt the cat if she would relinquish her rights of owning the cat to me. 

She was glad to do that but I didn’t take her word for it. I went home and printed out a cat surrender of ownership where the pet owner relinquished her rights. We both signed and dated the document and we both had a copy of the agreement.

 So now I have a 15-year-old cat that will be going to the veterinarian for a spay, vaccines, and wellness check-ups. If the cat is healthy with no serious health concerns I will then seek adopters in my neighborhood.

***If you love cats then you want to view my cat-designed products. Many products were created from the photographs of feral and stray cats that we care for. ***